remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
