smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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