Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
