the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
