I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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