i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
