She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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