Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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