i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I wear drunk well.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
