come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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