God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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