After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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