Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
