Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
