Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
