True but thats because hes a fetus.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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