Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
