I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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