i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
