I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
