I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
