I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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