She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
