Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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