Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
