dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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