I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
