Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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