My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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