As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
