I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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