Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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