I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
