So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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