We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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