We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
