I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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