I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
