So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
