i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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