Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
