hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
