I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
