He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
