nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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