you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
