The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
