Dual....:-)
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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