My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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