yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
