he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
